They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours…

Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one.

I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them, I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.

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I love hearing you pray. I love to witness your intimacy with the Father so that I can emulate your relationship with Him. The Father’s presence was a resting place for your heart and in that very place my heart desires to abide and dwell as well. I’m frequently disturbed by the thoughts of my future (e.g. as immediate as finding a new place to going to Columbia to getting married to deciding on law school and who knows what else). I can’t shake these thoughts off easily as they weigh me down everyday. However, I see that much of life weighed you down too: shepherding dull and ignorant disciples, rebutting self-righteous Pharisees, beating yourself up so that you can obey the calling to go to the cross. These were heavy burdens you carried while you treaded upon earth. Much heavier than mine. But here I am still hemming and hawing, perplexed and distraught at the slightest thought of my future. I see that during these times, you prayed to the Father. At your meekest moments, you were near Him. I feel extremely vulnerable and exposed these days. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and I can’t put on a facade anymore; I used to do that well. Nevertheless, in an effort to follow your example, I turn to the Father.

With teary eyes and trembling hands, I come to you Lord, asking for your love-ridden calling. Just like you’ve loved and called your Son, love and call me. Manifest your glorious plan in me so that I no longer fear what’s to come and my inabilities to fulfill them. Protect me with the power of your name and make my joy complete in your presence. Sanctify me with your truth and come live in me. Here, I will gain strength to face and fight my giant(s). The warrior princess within will not relent. I’ve only got few pebbles like King David but along with him I shall declare, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel…for the battle is the Lord’s.” It is not by worldly weapons (e.g. status, wealth, fame, degrees, and influence) that the Lord saves, but by His powerful name. Under this very name, I will one day see Goliath tumbling down at my feet.

Concerned about my future a lot these days. What am I going to do after graduate school which ends in a year? Am I serious about law school? Will I marry? Where will I live? What kind of ministry or missions work will I be involved in? These are questions that weigh me down each day. I spend a lot of time praying over them, but I’m still anxious. However, Jesus is so timely in giving me the following passage:

“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24-25 

Why am I so fixated on my future? What am I really trying to achieve? I think the correct answer is self-preservation. I want security. I want a job that pays well. I want a loving husband and three beautiful children. I want a career that’s devoted to helping others succeed without compromising self-investment. I want power, influence, status, wealth, and fame. Basically, I want the good life we all imagine for ourselves.

Strikingly though, if all I wished and dreamed for came true, I would remain “only a single seed,” quickly perishing into the abyss of selfishness and greed. Jesus says that by choosing the wide path, I will lose my life. Obsession over the riches of the world will lead to death. I’ll be light that loses its incandescent glow. I’ll be salt that loses its savory flavor. I will become useless and this is truly a scary thought because I delight the most when I am serving the Lord and His people.

Everyday is a battle in which I let go of “things,” whether it’s a material object, abstract worldview or value, relationship, or future ambition. A woman who hates her life in this world will keep it for eternal life. A woman who is so satisfied with the love of Christ that she can freely relinquish the desires of her heart will experience future glory. A woman who fears the Lord and lives to die each day will taste and gain true life. Therefore, I will be a seed that falls to the ground and dies today. I will be planted into soil and deeply root myself in the love of Christ. I will grow to be a stock of wheat most fruitful and beautiful, yielding thirty, sixty, and even hundred times what was sown (Matthew 13:8).

Help God!

“The answer that Kathy and I have always given is this. When you see the problems in each other, do you just want to run away, or do you find a desire to work on them together? If the second impulse is yours, then you have the makings of a marriage. Do you obsess over your partner’s external shortcomings, or can you see the beauty within, and do you want to see it increasingly released? Then move forward. The power of truth that marriage has should hold no fear for you.”

Timothy Keller

This is new revelation. Simply put, my head spins.

“Every man is a warrior inside. But the choice to fight is his own.” 

I can’t emphasize enough how much of an impact this book, Wild At Heart, is making at the current stage of my life as I learn about men reclaiming their true masculine hearts in the Lord. It’s interesting. How am I more blessed reading this than any of my male counterparts? Odd. If you are a male, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy and make time to read this book. It will help the endeavors of discovering your masculine identity and purpose in God and His gospel. Whilst reading, you will want to draw near to God more and more because He is the only one who can give men their real name and bestow true masculinity He himself created and possesses: the kind of a warrior. 

One particular section of the book caught my eyes, and I think the wisdom in this passage is absolutely indispensable. I would like to share the following excerpt with my brothers, fathers, and male friends so as to encourage them to turn to the Lion of Judah to find the answer to their souls’ aching question: Do I have what it takes when it really matters? Am I powerful? Am I a real man? 

The title of the section is named, “Walking Away From the Woman.” I think you may already have a hunch about the content. This is precisely what you (if you are a male) will have to do to find yourself in the Lord, and Eldredge will say more on that. I simply highlight, underline, bold, asterisk and Italicize what he writes because I too believe that man will not find the answer to his soul’s deepest question in a woman. She does not have the answer. Only He does. 

———————————-

Walking Away From the Women 

As we (men) walk from the false self, we will feel vulnerable and exposed. We will be sorely tempted to turn to our comforters for some relief, those places that we’ve found solace and rest. Because so many of us turned to the woman for our sense of masculinity, we must walk away from her as well. I do not mean you leave your wife (I, Joyce, giggled at this part!). I mean you stop looking to her to validate you, stop trying to make her come through for you, stop trying to get your answer from her. For some men,  this may mean disappointing her. If you’ve been a passive man, tiptoeing around your wife (or spouse or girlfriend) for years, never doing anything to rock the boat, then it’s time to rock it. Stand up to her; get her mad at you. For those of you violent men, including achievers, it means you stop abusing her. You release her as the object of your anger because you release her as the one who was supposed to make you a man. Repentance for a driven man means you become kind. Both types are still going to the women. Repentance depends on which way you’ve approached her. 

But I have counseled many young men to break up with their women they were dating because they had made her their life. She was the sun of his universe, around which he orbited. A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission, a life purpose, and he needs to know his name. A friend tells me that in the Masai tribe in Africa, a young man cannot court a woman until he has killed a lion. That’s their way of saying, until he has been initiated. I have seen far too many young men commit a kind of emotional promiscuity with a young woman. He will pursue her, not to offer his strength but to drink from her beauty, to be affirmed by her and feel like a man. They will share deep, intimate conversations. But he will not commit; he is unable to commit. This is very unfair to the young lady. After a year of this sort of relationship a dear friend said, “I never felt secure in what I meant to him.” When we feel the pull toward the golden-haired woman, we must recognize that something deeper is at play. As Bly says, 

What does it mean when a man falls in love with a radiant face across the room? It may mean that he has some soul work to do. His soul is the issue. Instead of pursuing the woman and trying to get her alone…he needs to go alone himself, perhaps to a mountain cabin, for three months, write poetry, canoe down a river, and dream. That would save some women a lot of trouble. (Iron John)

…[A][man] can never heal his wound by delivering another to the one he promised to love. Sometimes she will leave him…Too many men run after her, begging her not to go. If she has to go, it is probably because you have some soul work to do. What I am saying is that the masculine journey always takes a man away from the woman, in order that he may come back to her with his question answered. A man does not go to a woman to get his strength; he goes to her to offer it. As Augustine said, “Let my soul praise you for all these beauties, but let it not attach itself to them by the trap of love,” the trap of addiction because we’ve taken our soul to her for validation. 

But there is an even deeper issue than our question. What else is it we are seeking from the Woman with the Golden Hair? What is that ache we are trying to assuage with her? Mercy, comfort, beauty, ecstasy-in a word, God. I’m serious. What we are looking for is God. 

(I, Joyce, think the next few paraphes require and deserve your full attention. Never heard someone say this before, but it totally makes sense! It’s a fascinating recount of the Fall and how sin changed the heart of men).  

There was a time when Adam drank deeply from the source of all Love. He-our first father and archetype-lived in an unbroken communion with the most captivating, beautiful, and intoxicating Source of life in the universe. Adam had God. True, it was not good for man to be alone, and God in his humility gave us Eve, allowed us to need her as well. But something happened at the Fall; something shifted. Eve took the place of God in a man’s life. Let me explain. 

Adam was not deceived by the serpent. Did you know that? Paul makes it clear in 1 Timothy 2:14 that Adam did not fall because he was deceived. His sin was different; in some ways, it was more serious in that he did it with open eyes. We do not know how long it lasted, but there was a moment in Eden when Eve was fallen and Adam was not; she had eaten, but he yet had a choice (isn’t this crazy?). I believe something took place in his heart that went like this: I have lost my ezer kenegdo, my soul mate, the most vital companion I’ve known. I do not know what life will be like, but I know I cannot live without her. 

Adam chose Eve over God. 

If you think I exaggerate, simply look around. Look at all the art, poetry, music, drama devoted to the beautiful woman. Listen to the language men use to describe her. Watch the powerful obsession at work (which I, Joyce, can attest to!). What else can this be but worship. Men come into the world without the God who was our deepest joy, our ecstasy. Aching for we know not what, we meet Eve’s daughters and we are history. She is the closest thing we’ve ever encountered, the pinnacle of creation, the very embodiment of God’s beauty and mystery and tenderness and allure. And what goes out to her is not just our longing for Eve, but our longing for God as well. A man without his true love, his life, his God, will find another. What better substitute than Eve’s daughters? Nothing else in creation even come close. 

To a young man who had never been without a girlfriend since the eight grade, I gave the advice that he should break up, call off all dating for one year. From the look on his face you’d have thought I told him to cut off his arm…or something worse. Do you see what is at work here? Notice that the struggle with pornography or masturbation is most difficult when you are lonely, or beat up, or longing for comfort in some way. This will become more intense as you get closer to your wound. The longing for the ache to go away, and the pull toward other comforters can seem overwhelming. I’ve watched it in many men. I know it in myself. But if this is the water you are truly thirsty for, then why do you remain thirsty after you’ve had a drink? It’s the wrong well. 

We must reverse Adam’s choice, we must choose God over Eve. We must take our ache to him. For only in God will we find the healing of our wound. 

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Knowing what I know now about men, I lift up a prayer for all my brothers, fathers, and male friends out there that each one of them will recognize that only masculinity imparts masculinity. Only the Father can validate and affirm a boy’s heart and call him into true manhood. I pray for protection over their hearts, renewing of their minds, and a radical shifting of their attention from women to the all beautiful and powerful God, the answer to their souls’ deepest question. 

Brothers, reawaken that fierce quality in you, that warrior heart God has given you. And fight for your heart. Fight hard to get it back. May you always live for a purpose evermore higher than yourself, your security & future, and your woman. He has called you for bigger things. 

“Every man is a warrior inside. But the choice to fight is his own.” 

So, apparently, I have lots of time while I’m currently in Korea. 80% of the time I’m simply reading away, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever have this much leisure time in the near future to read for hours upon hours and day after day. Hence, this is a gift. Thank you, Jesus. 

I would like to summarize every good book and article I read, but sometimes I just can’t do justice to the actual text and other times, I’m just lazy. Today, it’s a mixture of both, so I’ll be mainly sharing excerpts that personally spoke volume to me. I’ve been meditating on wounds. Spiritual, emotional, and mental wounds. What kinds of wounds do I have? What about my friends? Family? Coworkers? The book I’m reading is called Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge. Although it’s a “man’s” book, I’m learning a lot about healing and reclaiming the heart God initially intended His people to have.

We’ve all been stabbed and subsequently received the message to suck up the pain and man up. It doesn’t matter if you’re a female or male. The world’s message to us is universal: “You tripped again? Well, you better not cry; otherwise, you’re weak. You better toughen up and get back up again; otherwise, you’re not a real man (or a really strong woman).” I’m so sick of theses false remaks. I’m so tired of hiding my pain and scars out of fear and shame, and I hate to see my friends and family put on a mask like they are immune to wounds caused by the world, sin, and Satan’s ruthless assault against their hearts. What happened to you was indeed absolutely wrong. And, let me tell you, it’s not your fault. 

Then, how do we reclaim our hearts? How do we find healing and hope again? I love what Augustine, Eldredge, and couple other authors write regarding this. Hear them out carefully: 

“The tears…streamed down, and I let them flow as freely a they would, making of them a pillow for my heart. On them it rested.” - Augustine from Confession 

Grief is a form of validation, it says the wound mattered…It was not your fault and it did matter…Christ comes to restore and release you, your soul, and true you…The Messiah will come to bind up and heal, to release and set free…So take him at his word…Ask him to release you from all bondage and captivity, as he promised to do. But you can’t do this at a distance; you can’t ask Christ to come into your wound while you reamin far from it. You have to go there with him. Oh that milestone day that was for me when I simply allowed myself to say that the loss of my father mattered. The tears that flowed were the first I’d ever granted my wound, and they were deeply healing. All those years of sucking it up melted away in my grief. It is so important to grieve our wounds; it is the only honest thing to do. For in grieving we admit the truth-that we were hurt by someone we loved, that we lost something very dear, and it hurts very much. Tears are healing. They help to open and cleanse the wound…Abiding in the love of God is our only hope, the only true home for our hearts. It’s not that we mentally acknowledge that God loves us. It’s that we let our hearts come home to him, and stay in his love. - John Eldredge 

Another author, MacDonald puts it this way: 

“When our hearts turn to him, that is opening the door to him…then he comes in, not by our thought only, not in our idea only, but he comes himself, and of his own will. Thus the Lord, the Spirit, becomes the soul of our souls…Then indeed we are; then indeed we have life, the life of Jesus has…become life in us…we are one with God forever and ever.” - The Heart of George McDonald 

What about St. John of the Cross: 

“O how gently and how lovingly dost thou lie awake in the depth and centre of my soul, where thou in secret and in silence alone, as its sole Lord, abidest, not only as in Thine own house or in Thine own chamber, but also as within my own bosom, in close and intimate union.” - Living Flame of Love 

The deep intimate union with Jesus and with his Father is the source of all our healing and all our strength. The promise of the new covenant delineates this well:

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” - Ezekiel 36:26-27  

Here God is promising to give us a new heart, not a refurbished and regenerated one, but a brand new heart, a heart of flesh, tender and ready to live. He is making us into a new creation. He is giving us a new name and identity. He is summoning us, and we must turn our old hearts with all its dirt, dust, filth, and crap to Him so that we can receive and know our new selves in Him. Intimacy with the Lord here is key and must be reiterated. Apart from union with Christ, there is no healing, no new heart. 

I love the following quote by Frederick Buechner from his memoir: 

“To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do-to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst-is, by the very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed.” -The Sacred Journey 

My desperate plea to myself and my beloved sisters and brothers is to be honest with your past hurts and wounds. Like Buechner says there are more wonderful things God desires to perform in your heart. For females, we must redeem our feminine hearts, embrace our God-given beauty, and courageously offer it to a broken world. For males, they must reclaim their masculine hearts and boldly provide their God-given strength in battle against evil in this world. Both men and women must come near to God who is the pinnacle, the complete and perfect state of beauty and strength, to draw their respective attributes in their most captivating and powerful forms. So, I urge the family of Christ to be united with the Lord. Rediscover this new heart the Lord speaks of. Open up to Him and be transformed. 

And, one last thing. Back to the wisdom of Eldredge, and this portion is somewhat more pertinent to men, but my female readers must heed as well (for how will you become his ezer kenegdo, helper, without understanding the battle in his heart?): 

Only when we enter the wound will we discover our true glory…There are two reasons for this. First, because the wound was given in the place of your true strength, as an effort to take you out. Until you go there you are still posing, offering something more shallow and insubstantial. And therefore, second, it is out of your brokenness that you discover what you have to offer the community. The false self is never wholly false. Those gifts we’ve been using are often quite true about us, but we’ve used them to hide behind. We thought that the power of our life was in [our ability to do things], but the power is in us. When we begin to offer not merely our gifts but our true selves, that is when we become powerful. That is when we are ready for battle. 

Let us not neglect the aching pain within. Let us acknowledge that the wound still hurts , that it still matters. Let us bring it to the cross and see Jesus transplant our old heart with a new one. Let us find freedom, healing, and authenticity in intimate union with Christ, and become a people ready to offer the same remedy to the broken around us. 

We look to you, Yaweh. 

“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing…So I found this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.” (Romans 7:14-23). 

Jesus, you’re definitely awesome, but I have a thing for Apostle Paul too. His honest confession of the battle against sin has been one of the biggest challenges and encouragements in the past couple days. I hear his angst, frustration, and exhaustion so clearly and vividly on the pages of Romans 7. He is dying because his flesh is acting up. Mine flares up too at any given moment. I slip away from you one day, and the sin in me does everything to take advantage of it. It’s scary and frustrating. However, I’ve also identified that this sinful nature of mine is a thorn on my side that brings me closer to you. A blessing in disguise. You use it so that I continually come back home and into your arms. But, the back and forth is just tiring. Hence, in order to maintain some type of spiritual momentum, I must CONSTANTLY drill the gospel into my head, heart, body, and soul. Pound it in until every thought, emotion, action is made captive under your Word EACH DAY. I was riding high yesterday. Today, I feel like vomiting out of disgust of my sins. Everyday is a battle. 

Ah, but thank you Apostle Paul for empathizing with my current state and reminding me that I have a Savior. I feel defeated, despairing at my total depravity and evil nature (I’m so mean sometimes!). I feel hopeless because I can’t control my flesh and sometimes refuse to. I am perplexed, thinking of the duration it will take to overcome my rebellion completely. What a wretched woman I am! “Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24).

This is the kicker: ”Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (v.25).

Whew. Okay, fine. Jesus I love you more than Apostle Paul. You saved me on the cross. You engaged in this beautiful exchange where you took my sins and gave me your righteousness instead. You took my death and offered me the gift of eternal life. You promised me the Holy Spirit and implanted Him within me so that I can fight against the flesh. Ah, you gave me everything I need to overcome the remnants of my rebellion. Let me depend on you for victory. Let me rely on your power to overcome myself. Let me borrow your glory to die to my sins each day. And, thank you that you are generous, compassionate, and loving in providing these things. I think I’ll live another day in triumph because you’re actively working in me against my flesh and its sinful nature. Man, I love you so much. 

So, recently I picked up a book called, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim & Kathy Keller. I’ve read numerous books pertaining to relationships in general and not just on marriage. I’ve been inspired. I’ve been disenchanted. I picked up this book with the same type of sentimentality: hopeful yet skeptical.

I finished the first chapter, and I’m already thinking to myself that I might have picked the best book on relationship thus far; this book is completely gospel-driven. Yes, of course, it explains the history, value, concept of marriage, but it’s so much more than that. It is teaching me that marriage and, even broader, Christian relationships with sisters and brothers are about building character and community not simply fulfilling egotistical desires of the heart, body, and even soul. I’ve gotten a glimpse of the difficulties that come with marriage. Obviously not through an actual marriage, but through my current relationships with the people around me. Most relationships at GCC require time, effort, money, intentionality, and heart; some are truly heart-wrenching and painstakingly challenging. If this is the case with those from CG, Outreach Committee, and my accountability girls, it’s going to take that much more dying to the flesh to serve and love one man for a lifetime. Nevertheless, a part of me is hopeful and this is why: 

“The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will transform us. Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us.” 

Whoa. Just the notion that when God designed marriage He already had the saving work of Christ in mind is absolutely revolutionary! The gospel of Christ and marriage go together. Therefore, I must learn the power and pattern of marriage ONLY in the light of the gospel and allow the experience of marriage (when it actually happens) to unveil the beauty and depth of the gospel. Furthermore, Christian marriage is both fulfillment and sacrifice, only it’s mutual. Because Jesus gave himself up to save me and make me his, both my spouse and I can do the same for each other. “We give ourselves up, we die to ourselves, first when we repent and believe the gospel, and later we submit to [God’s] will day by day.” Subordinating myself to my spouse in Christ is safe because “[Christ] has already shown that he was willing to go to hell and back for us. This banishes fears that loving surrender means loss of oneself.” My love for my spouse comes from Christ’s love for me and hopefully my man understands this goes the same for him. I find much assurance and comfort in this gospel-centered perspective of marriage because for the longest time I held many misconceptions about marriage. A peek into my thought processes reveals the following: 

“Marriage is for weak people who can’t tame their physical and emotional desires.”

“I’m an independent and competent woman. I don’t need a man.” 

“Well, truthfully I am a little insecure. I don’t want to deal with that in an intimate relationship.” 

“These days, people don’t marry until they’re in their late twenties and thirties anyway. Times have changed. Our generation has more freedom. I will marry whenever I want.” 

“Ugh, it’s too daunting to think about it. I’ll just put it off until I’m 28.” 

I had a negative or dismissive view of marriage or just relationships in general because I didn’t see what it meant to sacrificially love a person in emulating Christ’s love for me. This is what probably would have went down if my views on marriage did not start to transform: 

“Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.” - C.S. Lewis 

I wasn’t going to love anyone sacrificially because it’s been too risky and hurtful. My walls were higher than the empire state building (em, that’s corny). But you get the point. As I read on, I’ll add more quotes and reflections, but for now, what I mean to express is that the gospel of Christ is directly reflected in marriage and marriage points to Christ’s ultimate and loving sacrifice for the Church, His Bride. Marriage opens up a door to experience this in a profound way. I want that. This is why marriage has become desirable to me and I look into this with great expectancy and joy. 

The last time I had McDonalds was sometime in October last year around 2am upon exiting out of the school library with an excruciating hunger pang. I haven’t touched a single chicken nugget since then out of health concerns but after reading this, I find myself looking for deeper reasons for refraining from unhealthy selections of food.

The resonating questions in my head are, “How does eating fast food equate to living a fruitful Christian life and honoring the Lord? How does my eating pattern affect those who lack the same type of resources in quality and quantity? (the Africa vs. America calorie intake really got to me)”

Much to ponder as I stare at the dinner table tonight.